I said, They said......

I have had some interesting conversations with clients lately....here are a couple that seem funny NOW...while I was involved in them, not so funny.

First up, an older woman with bright red hair we'll call Lucy:

me: do you want to efile?
her: no, i don't believe in it. and my son said massachusetts is not accepting anything electronic
me: that's not true, exactly the opposite but, you don't want to so, fine, paper copy for you!
her: i don't BELIEVE in all that electronic internet crap. what's the point anyway?
me: so, paper copy for you then.

Second, is an older gentleman we'll call Bob:

me: i see you had some luck at the casino, do you want to take some losses against your winnings?
him: who is this again?
me: Your Accountant....i'm preparing your taxes
him: OH...you know, your father did my taxes YEARS AGO, i was his first client
****note****MANY OLD PEOPLE TELL ME THIS SAME THING EVERY YEAR. EVERY SINGLE YEAR.
me: yes, i know....so, do you have any losses to take against the winnings?
him: what?
me: did you lose anything gambling last year, losing lottery tickets...any gambling losses at all?
him: i remember you when you were a baby
me: yes, i know...(I HEAR THIS A LOT TOO)
him: so, i went to mohegan sun and i HIT the slots!
me: i see that....that's great. did u have any losses?
him: oh, i don't want to get into all that....lets just call it a loss and call it a day, ok?
me: it's not a "loss" though...you have winnings, they're taxable. if you want to use losses against the winnings, it will lower the tax you pay.
him: really?
me: yes
him: i think we better leave well enough alone. how's your father? can i talk to him?
me: he's retired....i'll tell him i spoke with you. thank you. you'll be called when the taxes are ready to be picked up. ok? thanks again, good bye
him: wait!!!!!
me: yes?
him: whatever i lost, i lost, i don't need to report it, do i?
me: not if you don't want to, no.
him: i don't any trouble. i like things simple. you know, mohegan didn't want to withhold any tax when i hit the slots!
me: ok, thanks again.....
him: you all set now? any more questions?
me: no, i have everything i need.
him: ok....i better go.
me: yes, me too. bye.

11 Degrees.....

I am just trying to keep this picture in my head. It helps to get through the 11 degree days....sorta. Tax hell has really heated up....I have many individual returns, corporations and partnerships to prepare. Most are in English, however, one "special" client gave me some of her information in French. I don't speak or read French. I understand it's the language of love but it's not the language of tax preparation! This client is an artist and she showed her work in China, France, Canada and Italy. The works that sold, that income is in various foreign currencies...so, FUN WITH FOREIGN CONVERSIONS! I know how delightful this all sounds and really, I'm such a nerd that I kind of enjoy it. A Tax Nerd, that is.
I am looking forward to spending time with The Girl this (every) weekend....had to get my ODE in!

Finally.....

Most Awesome Thing I Saw This Week......

Ryan high-fiving the blind guy.
I am still laughing.

Also, it came to my attention that my previous post about Oprah didn't have any Ode to The Girl! How is that possible?
Well.....since I can't go TWO posts without an Ode....The Girl and I have been together for 21 months now (I know this sounds gross) and I am happier than I ever thought I could be in a relationship. We don't agree on everything and we're just different enough that boredom is not a problem. We also don't have any drama in our life, we DO agree on the important things and I still get the "butterflies".

End of Ode.
For today.

I Hate to Complain but......

Oprah? SHUT THE F**K UP! I am so over it! We get it....you lost weight, you gained weight, you lost weight, you GAINED weight! Enough! I know, this is a universal problem, people listen to you, they look up to you, they IDOLIZE YOU....just SHUT THE F**K UP about it, will ya? When you took, like a week of your show to talk about this I thought, Ok, fine..it's your show. Then, the magazine, ok....again, YOUR magazine. But last night on Larry King, he took a half hour and had on your "team." Seriously? A "team?" He had Dr Oz, Bob Greene the trainer, and the obligatory "spiritual advisor." I think it was the spiritual advisor that pushed me over the edge. Granted, I was hanging on the precipice, but still. Just take your personal chef, personal trainer, personal physician and personal SPIRITUAL ADVISOR and SHUT THE F**K UP!

It's probably hard to tell but I think Oprah is amazing. She came from literally nothing, got an education and worked her way from a local tv reporter to one of the most powerful women in the world. I might have skipped a bunch a steps there but she is clearly a brilliant business-woman who owes her success to no one but herself. I admire that. A lot.

I just want her to shut it before I have an embolism.

And The Winner Is.....

Sunday night The Girl and I went to Brenda's to construct gingerbread houses with the kids. This is a holiday tradition that has evolved into a "contest" of sorts. Brenda gets the graham crackers, mixed the icing and prepares the base. We bring the candy for decorating and an enthusiam to WIN! Just kidding....we also brought wine. This year was a little different with my father getting into it as well. I kept my house small (everyone else tried to build large houses, and they promptly fell apart....too bad for them!) and concentrate on the decorating details. Tha above pic is before the final touches. Oh, yes. It gets better!

Brenda had the most trouble with keeping her house standing.....she was getting very aggravated, as you can tell by the look on her face.

I just noticed that her house in that pic looks good. Trust me, it kept collapsing and she threw it in the trash soon thereafter. The big BABY!!

My father built a house. Hard to really tell in that pic but his decorations were haphazard at best.

Obviously he was extremely proud of his accomplishment. Eh...it was ok, I guess. My mother was just hoping the whole didn't end up on her head!! Now THAT would of been funny!

Here is another picture of the winning house (my house). The judging was totally impartial....I declared myself the winner and that was that. I think I did a pretty, pretty, pretty good job.

Of course I had some help from The Girl...she was sort of the runner...helping out where necessary. I find doing the holiday stuff with The Girl so twinkley....and it's a reminder (you think I need one??) of how lucky I am to have her to share it all with. I'm very lucky.

And I build a mean gingerbread house.

Things To Be Thankful For....

There are so many things....thankful we have Dana-Farber so close and accessible to us. Alan is making very small steps towards recuperating. Brenda just told me he ate a small cup of jello last night. That is a very big deal for him. I'm thankful the kids are all healthy and happy, growing like weeds and each smart and funny in their own ways. Watching them go from babies to PEOPLE has been amazing. Not having kids, I feel very fortunate to have them in my life. My mother turns 70 yrs old in February. Wow! That sounds old but she doesn't seem that old. My father will turn 70 soon thereafter and he really doesn't seem that old. He golfs every day, is incredibly active for ANY age. He never stops. My mother has some minor health issues but for her age, she's very healthy. They spend the winters in Florida and I think that might be what's keeping them healthy and youngish. They certainly enjoy their life and their grandchildren. I was very close to my mothers parents and I love seeing Alex, Lucas and Ella having that same closeness with my parents. They're a big bunch of nuts but they're my nuts, and I'm thankful for all of them, even when they're driving ME nuts.
This is the second Thanksgiving for The Girl and me. I know I've said it many (very many) times before but I'm thankful for her every single day. My life is better in so many ways with her in it.
We are having the whole nutty bunch for dinner tomorrow and there's lots to do. But it'll be fun and I'm looking forward to cooking a big dinner in the new kitchen.
I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving. And tell people how much they mean to you. People like that!